How to get unstuck when you're stuck

You know that thing when you're searching all over for something, but it's actually right in front of you?

It reminds me of the Invisible Guerilla Experiment.

Participants were asked to count the number of passes between people passing around a basketball in a video they were shown. About half the watchers missed a person wearing a guerilla suit walking in and out of the video scene, thumping his chest. (Here's the link if you want to test yourself.)

It turns out that when we're focused on something, we're very likely to miss unexpected events or ideas that come our way.

Which brings me to this week's article and getting stuck:

It happens rarely, but I was completely stuck on what I wanted to write about.

I have a rule with myself that I will only share what resonates personally and opens my heart as well as my head. As much as I kept thinking about it, I couldn't land on a topic that felt right.

Frustration started to set in, along with completely useless but nevertheless loud thoughts of the "Maybe I'm just out of good ideas and don't have anything worthwhile to say" variety.

I decided to go for my daily walk to clear my mind.

While on my walk, I got a text from a friend. She is starting a new business and is stuck on what she should call it. We had talked about it before, but she wrote that she still can't seem to commit to anything.

"Don't try to make it perfect, you can always change it. Just start, just pick one option that is OK right now, and go from there," I replied to her.

When I got home I still had not come up with a topic so I decided to work on something else. I checked my email. The first one was from a Happier member named Victoria, who had written to me a few months earlier.

She shared then that she felt really stuck -- in her life, career, inside and outside. Her email now was to update me on the amazing progress she has made since -- a new job she loves, great colleagues, unique writing opportunities -- and to thank me to replying to her at the time.

She wrote about how just getting moving, just starting to write, to do, even without knowing how it will turn out, was so helpful in getting her where she is right now.

It was so awesome to get her email.

I wrote her an excited reply and as soon as I sent it, I started to laugh. Yep, sitting here, in front of my computer, laughing. Because as I was stuck on a topic for this week's article, it was right there, in front me:

How to get unstuck when you're stuck.

Here are my 3 favorite quick tips, which I hope can be helpful to you when you are stuck. Funny enough, I did a bunch of these this morning, without realizing I was doing them.

1. Get moving. Stretch. Go for a walk around your office or outside, if you can manage. You'll get more oxygen circulating, which will help your brain focus and think more clearly. Some research indicates that in general, we should sit for about 20 minutes, stand for 8, and move about for 2.

2. Get distracted doing something relaxing. Our brains need to go through different phases to come up with insights. The first phase is what is sometimes referred to as the "focus phase", when all the brain's energy is focused on trying to solve a problem. But then the brain needs to go through the "relaxation phase", during which it can make more broad and remote associations to help us arrive at the solution. Turns out there is a reason we often come up with ideas in the shower. (Here's an article that dives deeper into this topic.)

3. Get doing. One of my favorite quotes is from Pablo Picasso: "Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working." The answer we're looking for is often in the doing. It feels weird to start writing without an idea or painting without a concept. It might feel wrong to start a business without having the perfect name or to look for a new job without knowing what it might be. And yet, that's exactly what we should do when we're stuck: Start doing. It doesn't have to be right or perfect, but it will move the energy around, and lead you to new ideas, people, and connections you wouldn't discover if you waited for inspiration to come and find you.